Community
Love
“If
I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And
if not now, when?”
– Hillel
There is a beautiful tale of a great Sage who was
watching the crowds of people coming to Jerusalem for one of the
festivals. He stood on a hill,
surrounded by his disciples. Suddenly he
raised his arms heavenward and cried out, "Lord thank- you for the
blessing of all these people". His
disciples were aghast, and criticized him.
"Master you are one of the wisest men in the world. Why should you be grateful for those who are
inferior to you?" He looked at them
sternly, and chastised them. "Do
you see that man over there? He is a
butcher. He provides me with the meat
that I eat. That man is a tailor. He
makes my clothing. And, that man is a
baker who supplies me with bread. If it
weren't for them, I could not be who I am."
This is the essence of community love. If each person is contributing to the well
being of the community in accordance with their particular capabilities, then
each deserves the respect and gratitude of the others for who they are. In this case, respect is earned through the
outcomes of an individual's actions and the benefits they bring to the
community. Respect is not measured by title,
or wealth, or power, or wisdom, or any other characteristic of an
individual. It is measured by the
benefit that each individual brings to the community.
In this environment, a mystical exchange takes
place. As each individual learns to
respect others for who they are, his/her respect for her/himself
increases. This cycle is the source of
self-respect, and, ultimately, to true self-empowerment. It provides meaning to the first command
given to Abraham: "Go out to
yourself" (Gen. 12:1).
The story of the building of the Tabernacle, Ex.
35-40, provides another example of this process. Each member of the community participated in
the building of the Tabernacle. Everyone
brought the materials and/or the talents needed for its construction. All had an investment in the Tabernacle, and
all were elevated by its presence.
Unfortunately,
this does not describe the world in which we live. In our world, respect and gratitude of this
sort are rare. Then we are confronted
with a dilemma. How do we acquire
self-respect in this world?
Surprisingly, the answer is quite simple. We train ourselves to appropriately respect
others.
The training is a variant of the process discussed
in the previous post ("Love").
There is a simple exercise that I recommend to start this training. Commit to find a reason to say thank-you to,
at least, nine people every day, three family members, three friends or
co-workers and three strangers. Each
thank-you must be personalized and sincere.
For example, suppose your server in a restaurant was particularly pleasant
and attentive. Then, at the end of the
meal you might say, "I really enjoyed your pleasant attitude. It made my meal all the better. Thank-you very much."
Since you are looking for something unique in that
person, you become better able to see others as they really are. By responding to people in terms of what is
important to them, you will start to discover that you have the capacity to
impact on the lives of others. In most cases,
the impact will be small. Over time, you
will become aware that these small encounters can be life changing for
some.
By offering positive incentives to others, your
self-respect will grow. As your self-respect
grows, you will become less dependent on the opinion of others. You will be able to put aside the barriers to
yourself and become who you really are. Self-empowerment is the ability to be
yourself. Once again, we confront the
metaphysical mystery. As you seek to help
others achieve greater respect for themselves, you receive the greatest benefit.
Because of the world we live in, this process must
be selective. Otherwise, we would suffer
for our efforts. It, necessarily,
presumes that all parties that are involved are trying to enhance the well-being
of their community. However, it does not
require that all participate to the same degree. Their offering should be consistent with
their relative capability to contribute.
From this perspective, everyone has the ability to invest in the
well-being of the community and their own self-respect.
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